Accepting Fitness – Two Decades Later

It wasn’t until my life seemed to fall apart that I really understood in order for me to change my negative victim mentality, I had to get off the couch and stop thinking and sobbing so damn much. 

I was at my heaviest at close to 290 pounds when my husband asked for a divorce. My child was only 5 at the time, and I was completely distraught. I also hated my work environment, I was stressed and on edge. I had been going through some mental health issues at the time and had lost all confidence in myself as a wife, mother, supervisor, daughter even. I no longer knew who I was or what I wanted.

Since my pre-teens, I desired change – to transform into a completely different person. I read self-help books, but without implementing the work. I bought into many diet programs only to fail over and over again. I joined several gyms only to stop going. I wrote out my vision without following through with any of my goals. Eventually, I stopped living, dreaming, visualizing, hoping.

It wasn’t until my life seemed to fall apart, that I really understood that in order for me to change my negative victim mentality, I had to get off the couch and stop thinking and sobbing so damn much. Easier said than done right? That’s why for some of us, it takes hitting rock bottom. This is what I discovered though…by working out for 30 minutes a day, I was allowing my brain to take a break from all the unhealthy circular thinking I was doing. I’m not saying that fitness will solve all your problems. In my case, I depend on stimulants and anti-depressants, I talk to a therapist, I decided to take a low key job, I drink a nutrient dense shake every day, I surround myself with positive people, I reduce the noise in my environment. However, tapping into fitness has made all those other pieces start to fall into place; it was the key that I knew I was missing, but too stubborn to accept for decades.

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